Rocking Motherhood

What makes a good mom?

A little while back, I guest posted on The Koala Mom about what it means to be a Love Rebel Mom.  In short: I’m dedicated to my vocation.  God called me to be a mom, and I’m going to be a darn good one.

So Anni over at Beautiful Camouflaged Mess of a Life challenged me to prove it.  In her rocking motherhood post, she shared what makes her a good mom, and tagged me to do the same with practical examples from my own life.

As I brainstormed my supermom qualities, I realized everything on my list was more about the mom I want to be than the mom I am right now.  And I struggled to identify real life ways I actually rock motherhood every day.

So I asked my kids.

“When do you think I do a good job of being an awesome mommy?”

I was humbled by their answers.

Hero

My 5 yo son, Hero, is a ball of energy.  His feet hit the ground running every morning (this is not a metaphor).  He’s a big thinker, a big reader, and one of those people who’s so good at everything they do, it’s obnoxious.  Hero says I rock motherhood…

“When you play cars and Legos with me.”

Honestly, my car skills are limited to “brmmm brmmm – wheeeelieee!”  And I’m not very talented at Legos either… I can’t turn bricks into something cool.

But skills don’t matter to him.  Nope.  It’s enough for me to sit on the floor with him while he builds a demolition derby car that will DESTROY mine.  It’s enough for him that I brmmm my car while I listen to him tell me all about who’s winning the race.  It’s enough for me to just be with him.

“When you feed me.  Especially dessert.  Chocolate dessert, that’s my favorite.”

A boy after my own heart!  I love chocolate dessert, too.  It doesn’t surprise me that he finds the comfort of family dinner and dessert a special time when he feels  loved.  I want him to feel the joy of home, of a happy family.  If it takes a little chocolate to get the desired effect, so be it.

Princess

My 3yo, Princess, hides a big personality behind a quiet, shy facade.  “Feed me.  Carry my.  Read to me,” is her litany.  Her comfort zone is in mommy’s arms (or daddy’s).  Princess says I rock motherhood…

“When you get yourself tea because you share it with me when you drink it.”

This surprised me, but it shouldn’t have.  Princess needs down time, snuggles, physical reassurance.  So I do my best momming for her when I slow myself down.  When I sit and do nothing important.  Sip tea quietly and snuggle her.  As of today, I’ll be adding that relaxing cup of tea back into my morning routine.

“When you’re at church.  Because you get to pray.”

Well, I might have cried a bit at that one.  How does she know so firmly that I need Jesus big time?  How does she know I can’t do this motherhood thing on my own?  How does she know the grace of God is the only thing that keeps me going somedays?

I need to remember this when the toddlers are tormenting me during Mass and the big kids are whispering, “Can we go yet?” during Adoration.  I’m a good Mom just by being there, because I get to pray.  And prayer makes all the difference.

Flower

My 2yo, Flower, is crazy from the hair down.  Daddy can’t even discipline her without laughing and telling her how cute she is.  It’s gonna come back and haunt us, I know.  She thinks I rock motherhood…

“When you’re in the tub with toys.”

The tub is my safe haven.  And I’m not usually in there with toys.  But sometimes Flower escapes from movie time and finds me.  I suppose I don’t rock motherhood the times I send her back out.  But when I let her float her boats in my bath, I transform into Supermom.  Fill my tub with toys, baby, if that’s what it takes to let you know I love you!

“When you be a good listener.”

Excuse me?  You’re two.  Stop being so darned grown-up.  Flower makes sure I’m looking at her when she’s speaking to me.  She grabs my cheeks and turns my face towards hers.  So I’m not sure if she thinks I AM a good listener, or that I need to be a BETTER listener. But from now on, I’m going to make sure her voice is heard.

Rocking Motherhood

Motherhood is not about chores (except dinner, apparently).  None of my kids said I’m a good mom because I do the dishes and the laundry, and make the bed every day.

They showed me I’m a good mom when I make them feel loved.  When I spend time with them.  When I give them my undivided attention.

If I want to be a good mom, I need to stop thinking about myself.  Because motherhood is not about me.  It’s not about what I do.  It’s about my kids.

Now that I know this, I’m going to rock it even more.  I’m going to print this list and make sure I meet my kids’ needs.  Their real needs.  Most importantly: the need for love.

Moms, spend time with your kids.

Love them the way they need to be loved.

That’s all it takes to rock motherhood.


Love your kids the way they need to be loved.  Tweet this.


I want to hear from you!

How are you rocking motherhood?  I challenge you to ask your kids the same question I did:

“When do you think I do a good job of being an awesome mommy?”

Then come back here and leave a comment.  I want to hear what they say!

Blogging friends, I want to hear from you too.  Today, I especially nominate:

to join me in the #RockingMotherhood challenge.

Here’s whatcha gotta do:

  1. Write a post on how you rock motherhood.  Tell us 10 (plus or minus) ways.
  2. Link back to the blogger who tagged you.
  3. Tag blogging friends to join the challenge.

(p.s. no pressure… I won’t be offended if this type of post isn’t for you!)

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A Reflection on the Quiet Years of Jesus’ Life

The Quiet Years: a guide to embracing the ordinary.

In a world of information and connection, we can be tempted to share every detail of every moment of our children’s lives.

The adorable thing they said.

The Lego they built.

The meal they ate (or refused to eat) for lunch.

Since every moment is precious and important, we feel we must shout it out loud for all the world to know.

The Quiet Years

But Your childhood, Jesus, is in stark contrast to this attitude.  The first 30 years of Your life were the quiet years. Continue reading “A Reflection on the Quiet Years of Jesus’ Life”

I Have Extra Arms and Extra legs

For all the babywearing moms.

I strapped my tantruming 2-yo to my back, rolled up my sleeves, and dug into the dishes, hoping the closeness and the movement would help her calm down.

The cries eventually turned to whimpers.  The whimpers to sighs.  The sighs to silence.  She was asleep.

Time to lay her down for a nap.

But first I stepped into the bathroom to scoop up the dirty clothes for the laundry.  I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  My silhouette was augmented with extra appendages.  Little tiny fingers, toes, arms, and legs, were peeking out from the left and right.

I stopped.

And stared. Continue reading “I Have Extra Arms and Extra legs”

When You Have Nothing Left to Give, Be the Gift

Give the gift of yourself like God does in the Incarnation, on the Cross, in the Eucharist.

It started with a gentle tug on my sheets and a soft whisper in my ear:

“Mom, my belly hurts.”

Those words had the power to throw me out of bed.  I quickly scooped my 3yo daughter into my arms and made a stumbling dash into the bathroom. Continue reading “When You Have Nothing Left to Give, Be the Gift”

When Your Kid is the Bully: Finding a Better Future

Four steps to help you replace fear with hope when your kid makes a terrible mistake.

Suddenly your kid is “that kid.”  The kid other parents warn each other about.  The kid they tell their own children to stay away from.  How did it happen?

  • You tried to be the best parent you could.
  • You read every parenting book.
  • You researched every discipline strategy.
  • You prayed every day for the grace to raise good kids.

You were sprinting the race of good-parenthood. Continue reading “When Your Kid is the Bully: Finding a Better Future”

How To Live the Dream the World Doesn’t Understand

What looking back at a sacrificed career can teach you about your vocation as a wife and mom.

Forget the perfect Pinterest project, by the time you change every diaper that needs changing, feed the starving animals you call your children, put the cushions back on the couch for the thousandth time, toss every LEGO block back in the bin, feed those children again, teach them their letters, feed them again, brush their teeth, tuck them in bed, tell them to get back in bed – you don’t have the energy left to stay awake until a reasonable adult bedtime, so you’re passed out in your spit-up-covered jeans on top of the bedspread at 7:59.

Well I give you credit, you almost made it to 8:00. Continue reading “How To Live the Dream the World Doesn’t Understand”

Why (And How) to Bring Your Kids to Adoration

Jesus waits in the Tabernacle, saying, “Let the little children come to me.”  Bring your kids to Mass and Adoration!

I can almost feel the disapproving glares of the parishioners behind me burning holes in the back of my head, but I don’t dare turn and look.

Continue reading “Why (And How) to Bring Your Kids to Adoration”

How to Find Big Meaning in a Mom’s Small Way of the Cross

It’s been an off kind of day.

One of those days where nothing is really going bad, but nothing is going the way I want it to either. This day has left me feeling down. Not angry or frustrated, but unfocused, unmotivated, dissatisfied.

Continue reading “How to Find Big Meaning in a Mom’s Small Way of the Cross”

Back To School

It’s time for back-to-school. We are overloaded with preparation, scheduling, planning. We have goals and hopes for the academic year. Dear Jesus, In all the flurry of change and excitement, help me not forget the reason for it all.

Continue reading “Back To School”