Marriage is my primary vocation.
I do my best to keep my husband first (after God, of course). To love him and support him in all his endeavors.
We’re a team. We pray together. We make family decisions together. We strive to treat each other with love and respect. We try to help each other draw closer to Jesus.
My husband and I are also an NFP (Natural Family Planning) teaching couple. We love to share our witness about this practice that has benefited our marriage so much.
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I was about four months postpartum after Baby #2. My oldest was not even 2 years old yet, and it was difficult to have them both attached to me all day long.
It was hard to adjust from meeting the needs of just one toddler to meeting the needs of two tiny humans. And, oh yeah, my husband still wanted to have sex once in a while.
But I was all touched out. Maxed out. I was meeting everybody else’s needs, but somehow not my own. The last thing in the world that I wanted was to get all hands-on with my husband.
I wanted to be able to think. To be able to pray. I craved a spiritual connection that was being suffocated by all the physical needs of my family.
I needed me some Jesus.
So I took off for a quick Adoration visit. And I sat there complaining to God about how drained my body was. About how little I wanted to be intimate with my husband. About how I didn’t want to let him down, but I needed something… different. Something more. I needed to connect on other levels.
Jesus prompted me:
Me: Sure, we do that every day.
Jesus: No. PRAY. Tonight. Before you have sex.
Me: yeahhhh-NO. I’m not about to hop out of bed mid-deed and say a Rosary.
Jesus: No, nothing like that. Pray like this…
Sometimes I get so focused on what I want and what I think is good for me that my limited view can block out God’s plans for me entirely.
I tend to see the future with wishful thinking. I imagine everything exactly how I want it to be. The perfect house, the most amazing husband who helps with all the chores and always has a smile on his face, well behaved children playing quietly on the floor.
But real life hardly ever looks how I imagine it will.
It’s filled with its shares of troubles and sorrows, struggles and arguments, mixed in with all the beauty and joy. And God knows every moment of it. So I need to trust Him to provide what I need – in terms of goods, graces, and relationships – to live a real life. Not just the one I imagined. I need to seek the path He knows will lead to holiness and eternal happiness, not just path I think will make me happy.
I learned this lesson in a big way in my journey to dating and marriage.
Chad and I met in college. Just a couple of nerds studying math together.
We began dating in September 2007. Around Christmas time that year, Chad took me aside and told me he’d decided to join the Catholic Church.
I was so excited! This was a huge moment for me.
I had grown up Catholic, and it was important to me that the person I married would support me in living my faith and passing it on to our children.
In July 2008 we were engaged, and in August Chad received Confirmation.
Because of my devout Catholic upbringing, the choice for Natural Family Planning was a no-brainer for me. Chad and I studied NFP during our engagement, and charted together for about a year before we were married in 2010.